The Mommy Chronicles: Tales of a Slow-Track Mom in a Fast-Track Lane
Ebook
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Overview
Follow the adventures of Charlie, an urban three-year-old on the fast track, and his slow-track mommy. In this hilarious volume, Charlie gets a haircut like Sting’s, runs up a tab at a baseball game, and prefers the garlic press to any of his expensive “educational” toys. Charlie is a kid learning to be a consumer. His mommy reveals important secrets, like which stroller is “in,” which is the “right” playgroup, and how to throw a fabulous fourth birthday party. Moms and dads alike will find these anecdotes of parenting at the end of the century to be truly priceless.
- COVER
- TITLE PAGE
- DEDICATION
- ACKNOWLEDGMENT
- PART ONE: CONFESSIONS OF A ROTTEN MOMMY
- CHARLIE AND HIS ROTTEN MOMMY
- THE ROTTEN MOMMY REFUSES TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
- CHARLIE LOVES TV
- TELEVISION COMMERCIALS THAT CHARLIE LIKES TO SING
- TELEVISION COMMERCIALS THAT CHARLIE HAS GOT ALL SCREWED UP IN SPITE OF BILLION-DOLLAR AD CAMPAIGNS
- WHO, ME???? WET????
- MY SON THE GARBAGE TRUCK
- BRINGING IT IN FOR UNDER A THOU; OR HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY, YOU TIGHTWAD
- OF HUMAN BONDAGE
- CHARLIE THE LATE BLOOMER
- PART TWO: IF I FORGET THEE, O BANKIE, AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS
- "AND NOW, HEEEEERE’S BANKIE!"
- GHOSTBUSTARDS
- THE BLENDED HOSTILE NUCLEAR FAMILY
- "DADDY SAYS …"
- TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME
- INTERFACING WITH GRANDMA
- MEDIEVAL AND RENAISSANCE CHILDREN
- YOU-BED
- ITEMS FROM OUR FLOORS
- PART THREE: NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM
- TOYS R NOT US
- JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL TO FETCH A CONTAINER OF HÄAGEN-DAZS
- WHAT YOUR STROLLER SAYS ABOUT YOU
- CHARLIE AND MOMMY AMONG THE YUCKIES
- T-SHIRTS AND BIBS SEEN IN THE WINDOWS OF BEN’S FOR KIDS ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE OF NEW YORK CITY
- PRENATAL PREP
- MY BABY—A KEEPBOOK FOR THE EIGHTIES
- THE BIRTHDAY BRIGADE
- BEST LOOKING, WITTIEST, MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
- ITEM FROM OUR CATALOGUE
- PART FOUR: A JUG OF WINE, A LOAF OF BREAD, AND A THREE-YEAR-OLD SINGING IN THE WILDERNESS
- "I’LL JUST PICK"
- CHINESE BONES
- EAT TO WIN
- PART FIVE: IT’S ONLY YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE HANGING IN THE BALANCE: NURSERY SCHOOL IN YEAR TWO
- CHARLIE (AND MOMMY) GO TO NURSERY SCHOOL
- CHARLIE AND MOMMY CONTINUE TO GO TO NURSERY SCHOOL …
- MOMMY GOES TO CHARLIE’S TEACHER CONFERENCE
- CHARLIE GOES TO HARVARD (SOMEDAY)
- STATUS SNACKS
- TYPHOID MOMMY
- CHARLIE AND MOMMY GET PROMOTED
- PART SIX: THE TODDLER NETWORK
- MY DENTIST IS MY BEST FRIEND
- CHATTING UP THE CAREGIVER
- SUNDAYS, MONDAYS, TUESDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, THURSDAYS, FRIDAYS, AND SATURDAYS IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE, MARISSA, ALESSANDRA, EVAN, COURTENAY, AND JASON
- CONTENTS OF TYPICAL STROLLER BAG
- PART SEVEN: DO YOU CONSIDER A BOX OF PAMPERS CARRY-ON LUGGAGE?
- THE WINGS OF BOY
- BERMUDA SHORTS
- THE FOUR MINUTE MEAL
- THE CRUISEWEAR LINE
- WISH YOU WERE HERE
- HAMPTONS DIARY BY CHARLIE
- PART EIGHT: BROKEN GROWNUPS
- HALF A MIL AND WE’LL THROW IN THE KID
- BIG BIRD ON MY BACK
- CHARLIE TAKES A MEETING
- THE LITTLEST PRINCE
- PART NINE: SESAME STREET AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE
- AND THAT’S THE WAY IT IS
- A GENERATION OF SOCIAL WORKERS
- WHITE FLIGHT
- THE OFFICIAL ROTTEN MOMMY TEST
- AFTERWORD: DO DADDIES MAKE THE BEST MOMMIES?
- COPYRIGHT
Product Details
- Title : The Mommy Chronicles: Tales of a Slow-Track Mom in a Fast-Track Lane
- Author: Tonner, Leslie
- Publisher: Open Road Media
- Publication Date: 2014
- ISBN: 9781480496156
Leslie Tonner is the author of eight books, both fiction and nonfiction. She and her family live in Manhattan.